Sunday, March 26, 2017

I Did Not Wake Up Today To Be Mediocre...

I was doing some research the other day and came across a quote that just stuck in my head. “I did not wake up today to be mediocre.”  I just love that.  It’s so true.  The time we are given is just that – it’s a gift – so why not give it all ya’ got? What’s the point in giving the world half of you, or just a taste.  I promise you have something huge to share with the world. Show up.  Show up big.  Greatness comes with effort and we all have it in us if we just get out of our own way. Make it count.

I was talking to someone going through a tough time yesterday, and he felt like he wasn’t really sure of his purpose in the world. He wasn’t sure what he was good at, or what value he had to share with others. I think a lot of people feel that way sometimes, but if you take out all the noise (job, school, family) and sit with yourself, I think you will find there is a gem ready to sparkle, but you have to value it and you have to utilize it with boldness every day. This particular person has an infectious smile and an ability to make other people happy with his joy. What a gift to give to the world.

I do not plan to live a mediocre life. Even in my stereotypical, suburban life, I don’t need to settle for “easy” or settle for “good enough.” Every thing I do, and everything I give should be with my whole heart. I may not be working in the rat race anymore, and my kids are grown and almost flown. In years, my life is likely half over, but I am not even close to done in uncovering my potential.  I haven’t yet discovered the adventure that awaits me next, but I’m “simply positive” I am going to give it all I have.

NOTE:  This blog will be on hiatus for weeks as I recover from surgery.  I POSITIVELY look forward to writing again soon!  xox

Monday, March 20, 2017

My Attitude for Gratitude

Last week a lot of people lost power due to crazy storms and high winds.  We are still half-way through Winter here in Michigan, so being without power is a big deal. There was a story on the evening news about a little, old woman who was living with no power or heat for close to a week.  She lived alone and suffered from COPD. She was on her last tank of oxygen.  She was cold and bundled up in multiple layers of coats and scarves. She had no family to turn to for help.  She was scared, but most of all, she was grateful to have a roof over her head.  She was grateful for the snow on her porch, so she had somewhere to store her food. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been a pain in the ass.

As many of you know, I’ve dealing with what I refer to as “some physical bullshit” and have been ordered off my feet for a bit.  Being homebound is not easy for someone with a lot of energy and I'd be lying if I said I was always cheerful about it.  Since I saw this story on the news, it was a great reminder to be grateful.  What I’m going through is absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life.  So many people have real suffering in the world. So many people don’t have others to help them or care for them.  I am in no position to complain when I have so much to be grateful for. 

I'm not sure how, or why I stopped morning meditation, but I think I'm going to try hard to get back into the groove.  Starting your day with intention is really a gift to yourself. Checking in with yourself and what your needs are is a beautiful thing; it's also important to check in with yourself to see what you are supposed to be giving back to the world around you.  What are you holding back? 

This week I’m taking special care to pay attention to each and every person that makes an impact on my life. I don't want to take it for granted that I have so many loving souls around me, working hard to make my life better or easier. I don't want to forget to tell my children that I love them, or that my friends mean the world to me. You never know when, or if, you will have a chance to tell someone they’ve made a difference to you, so what are you waiting for? The people in our lives are gifts and I do believe they are there for a reason. You might think they are little gifts, but sometimes, they turn into the biggest ones.  (So, super Shout Out to my neighbors and friends, the Pesicks - who lent me their lazy boy chair.  Yes, it was just sitting in their basement, and they probably think this is no big deal, but for someone who can't sit on the couch and can rarely sleep in a bed these days, this is a HUGE deal to me.  THANK YOU!)  (AND Second Shout Out to my Partner in Crime, Sherry, who has become my personal shopper - you are the BEST!) Okay since I'm on a roll, let me thank my incredible, amazing Mother-in-Law, who drops her world at any sign of my needs - who woke up at the crack of dawn to spend the day at the hospital with me for testing last week.  And let's not forget my handsome, partner in crime, David, who does absolutely everything for me and doesn't complain - EVER - yesterday, after doing every chore imaginable, he still managed to bring me my favorite breakfast (avocado toast! YUM!). I know this is just as hard on you as it is on me and I'm soooo appreciative. Okay, sorry, this blog is getting out of control now.....what I'm trying to say is, Pay attention to your gifts and start each day with a grateful heart – I am “simply positive” it’s a key to a happy life.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Hello, My Name is People Pleaser

Like any artful masterpiece, we humans are a work in progress.  Every day is an opportunity to pay attention to the things that cause us, or others harm, and to take action in becoming the best versions of ourselves.  I spend a lot of time thinking about other people, which is one of the virtues of which I’m most proud.  It is also one of the things that cause trouble.  Putting others needs before my own is instinctive, and not drawn by a need to be liked.  It’s important to me to keep a peaceful surrounding – to keep everyone around me happy and calm.

Being a “people pleaser” is not always a wonderful trait.  It may seem selfless and generous, but it has caused me to put myself in uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous situations.  When I was in middle school, a girl I barely new had her purse stolen at the library we were both studying in.  I was so angry for her that I ran after the perp into a dangerous area to get it back.  I gave no thought to my surroundings, or what would happen if, and when I actually caught up to the guy.  I missed him and we eventually called the police, but my instinct to help overtook rationality. 

Most people think being a people pleaser is a good thing.  For me, it’s been more of a curse.  It takes everything I have to put my needs first and when I do, it is a sweet victory.  This past year, I’ve been putting a lot of effort into the things I need to work on and one of those things, is putting myself first. I’ve taken time off from the rat-race to grieve the loss of my parents; I’ve said “no” to social engagements I knew would not bring joy; I’ve let go of toxic relationships.  This past week I was especially proud of myself when I put a stop to a medical test that terrified me. I was close to a panic attack when I realized the only reason I was going through with it was because I felt bad for the technicians and doctors that were prepped and ready for me.  It took everything I had to stop and listen to myself and put a stop to it.  I was morbidly embarrassed and felt terrible but in the end, I was really proud of myself for putting my needs first. 

While I’m working hard to put myself first these days, I’m still the girl who will bring you soup when you are sick or be your shoulder to cry on when you are sad.  I’m
“simply positive” that I can kick my “people pleasing” habit without losing who I am at heart.

Here are some great tips for People-Pleasers ready for a change:
1. Make peace with the fact that not everyone is going to like you—and actually, that’s okay.
2. Learn to say no in a way that feels okay to you. (No making excuses allowed!)
3. Accept that you will feel guilty when you say no to something the first few times.
4. Start setting some boundaries.
5. Let go of the people who use your people pleaser tendencies on purpose.

(List by Claire Hogsdon –