Tradition, Tradition

Christmas is a magical time spent with family and friends.  It is also a time rich in tradition.  I often hear this word thrown around during the holidays but I hadn’t given it too much thought.  Obviously, there’s the “tradition” of putting up a tree, and going to church and all the things people who celebrate Christmas, do, but what about the rest of us?  What does it mean for us? 

My initial mind bubble took me to our own customs of lighting the menorah and playing dreidel – those are our Jewish traditions.  But really, traditions are so much more important that just the practice of repeating something year after year.  These rituals or customs are what connect our present to the past.  They are placing importance of where we came from; appreciating and celebrating where we came from; and acknowledging how we got to where we are today. It is establishing importance on where we’d like to see our next generations go.  It is so much bigger than today.  Our private jokes, secret handshakes, goofy smiles, special rituals, cultural stories, heirloom recipes, religious customs – these are the things that blend together to form family.  They connect us and unify us.  They give us comfort and security.  They are things to be treasured and appreciated.

I have had almost twenty years of building my own family traditions, and as my children are about to move into adulthood, I’m feeling a push to put our traditions in Broadway lights so they don’t forget them.  I wanted to make this years’ holiday this best one yet, so I decided to take on a new tradition in our house – An Evening of Gluttony: The Christmukkah Dinner on Christmas Eve. 

I shopped and cooked and cleaned and prepped…….and then I shopped and cooked and cleaned and prepped.  I had forgotten how much work it was to throw a dinner party.  The truth is, I love it.  I love all the little details….of matching every little detail; putting in the extra touches to make my guests feel special; to set the mood for a special memory.  It was three full days of preparing and shopping, but I really was just happy that I had special people in my life to share the evening with.

Day one, I set my table, which is my favorite thing to do.  I love bringing out my grandmother’s china and silver and setting a beautiful table.  Setting the table reminds me of when I was a little girl, as that was my job for family holidays.  The dining room is filled with family heirlooms and I always feel surrounded by love.  It dawned on me that the tradition of setting this table had been passed down for hundreds of years and I had never really taught my own children to set a proper, formal table.  This holiday was reminding me more and more, that even though I did not have Christmas traditions, my family had plenty of their own.

On day two of my prep, my sister-in-law came over to prepare latkes with me.  This is a very, very labor-intensive job of peeling potatoes, chopping, shredding and frying.  It is super messy and super smelly.  Friends who heard I was doing this asked why in the world I would do this when I could buy them at Trader Joes and spare the work and stench?  Truth be told, I was cherishing the memory of making them with my late father and loving the idea of making new traditions of making them with my sister-in-law.  It turned out to be even more fun than I thought and David joined the fun as well.  My house still smells but it was worth it. 

The day of the dinner was Christmas Eve and “Julie’s Mommy’s Pistachio Cake” fell so I had to GASP run to the grocery store for new supplies.  This cake has been part of my life for over 20 years.  My college BFF’s mother makes this cake for every occasion and still makes it each Thanksgiving when my friend comes home for the holiday from the west coast.  Every time I make it, I still call it “Julie’s Mommy’s Pistachio Cake” and it’s written that way in my cookbook. 

Overall, the dinner party was a success…..we ate and drank champagne and laughed and enjoyed one another.  After dinner, I made all the kids sit around the table and play dreidel, just like they’ve been doing since they were five.  Now that they are all late teens, I expected some push back but they all grabbed their candy and ran to the table.  Hearing their laughter and chatter over their competitive top-spinning year after year is a tradition I will miss terribly in a few years.  We ended the night with an inappropriate game of Cards Against Humanity (which used to be Apples to Apples when they were little).

Yesterday was the big finish of my big, traditional holiday – Christmas!  We bundled up in our ugly Christmas sweaters and went ice-skating downtown.  After lunch at the iconic Lafayette Coney Island, we all came home exhausted and lit the Hanukkah menorah.  While they will likely not express it verbally, I know my boys really appreciate our family traditions.  Their excitement, laughter, smiles, exuberance and overall silliness say it all and is the best gift I could ever receive.  Watching them grow up is both the hardest and best thing in my life.  I can’t imagine our traditions changing, but I know that in the next few years they will.  There will be girlfriends, and then wives, and then children…..but isn’t that the point of tradition anyway?  To move from generation to generation?