Silence is Golden

Music is a powerful tool.  It emotes everything from happiness to sadness; can awaken sweet memories from our youth; and can move us to tears.  With thousands of radio stations to choose from nowadays, we tend to flip from channel to channel, catching bits and pieces of our favorite songs.  When was the last time you listened to a song from beginning to end?  It is the pattern of our millennial life.  Today I was psycho flipping the button on my car radio on my way to run an errand and caught the very beginning of a song I loved.  I stopped flipping and let the music consume me.  I listened to the sound of Adele’s voice – her tone – her emotion – her passion. Each note strung into melody and the music it formed resonated with me. I paid attention to every lyric.  I embraced the entire song and felt it’s meaning in my core. I was listening. 

Hearing is the act of perceiving sound in the ear, but listening is a choice. We so often think we are listening, but we are only hearing.  We don’t listen to our hearts and act on impulse; we don’t listen to our needs and rush to care for everyone else above ourselves; and we don’t listen well enough in our every day conversations.  We are missing out on so much because of our busy lives, and in all honesty, our narcissism.  This one is tricky for me, not because I’m a narcissist, but because my mind is always going a million miles a minute.  I’d like you to reflect on your last few encounters with people.  What do you remember about your conversation?  Most likely you remember your side of the conversation and what information you shared.  How many times did you interrupt?  How many times did you let your ego take over and half listen because you were busy forming your next thought or gathering information you felt was pertinent to the conversation? In doing so, we aren’t hearing.  What are we missing by doing this?  Are we missing an opportunity for empathy?  Are we missing an opportunity to learn something?  Are we missing the ability to form deeper connections with people?  If you rearrange the letters of "Listen," you find "Silent."  I am working on this skill daily and it’s definitely a challenge for me…but I’m “simply positive” that if we listen more, and talk less, everyone will benefit.

You homework this week is to slow down your need to respond in conversations.  Truly listen and gather information.  Determine if it actually needs your response?  Do you need to share the information in your head because you feel it adds value, or are you serving your own needs?  Let’s all learn to “hear” a little better.